Sunday, November 13, 2011

A very hard blog post....

This has been a very hard but sweet week. My grandmother(Grammy) isn't doing very well. That is an understatement, she is very close to dying. She has been in a coma for a couple of days and I don't think she will be on this earth much longer.

I always said I would be sad for me but happy for her. She wants to see her husband and parents. Her beloved aunts and uncles and cousins, even if they did call her mild red with a ton of ham. She was a red head named Mildred Hamilton, kids are nothing if not creative.

I am happy for her, I wish she didn't have to struggle so hard.

But I am sad for me. For the last (almost) seven years she has been a big consideration in my life. Have I fed the Grammy? Is she safe? Is she content? Is she lonely? Does she need to go potty? Especially these last six months when I couldn't leave her alone, ok wouldn't, but it was better for her.

What am I going to do without her?

I am never alone. Which is good because I am not much of a loner. I always figured if Ken goes first I will have to get a roommate because I am just not a solitary person. I always have someone to tell me if my shoes match. Or to keep me company. She was always cheerful and full of mischief. I find myself thinking about the future and feeling very off balance.

My dogs are going to be crazy. They are never alone either and do not handle that well.

I guess I just want to say,

"Be seeing you and be sure to watch out for us until we meet again. Love you."

PS:  I wrote this last night before bed and didn't post because the spell check is gone on my Ipad and well, I cannot spell worth beans!

This morning my wonderful Grammy passed away and I will miss her more than words can express.  I know my Heavenly Father has a plan and I count myself blessed that I have that knowledge of where she is and that family is eternal.


Heather said...

I'm sorry for your loss Karen. May you have peace.

Sue said...

What a beautiful love note to your grandmother. It sounds like she has lived a great life with lots of family closeness. The reunions that are happening right now must be wonderful.

But that doesn't stop you from missing her, and I'm sure it will be not be easy. Which is why I will be keeping you in my prayers.


Lindsay Rector said...

Please let us know who we can be in touch with to help with her funeral. I'm so sorry for your loss.

jen said...

I will miss her, too. And when we all meet at that big convention in the sky ;), it will be wonderful.
Dibs on the roommate place.

A Day in the Life said...

I am so sorry to hear that she has passed. With that said what a party she is having tonight.
You have been an excellent grand daughter and have cared for her well. We will keep your family in our prayers.
love to you and your family

Risa said...

I don't know what you are going to do without her. She has been ther so long she was a permanent fixture. I wish we could all be therebut we can't. Ryan will be there though. Send your family our love.

Kat said...

Karen, you are in our thoughts. I'm sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Love ya!